You just made me feel so damn special
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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