I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
