Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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