if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
