i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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