called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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