So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
