my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize