Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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