Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize