you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize