So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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