Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
