Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
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