Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
