Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
