I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize