Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
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