Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
