i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize