I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
a search helicopter?!
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
