my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
