I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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