I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
