Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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