weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
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