stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
