i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
