Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
