can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
