But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Randomize
