So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
