I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize