I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
