Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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