She announced her abortion via fbk
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
