dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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