So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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