i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
This gyro tastes like lonliness
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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