I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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