just survived the first fart of the relationship.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
