You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
