Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
