you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
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