If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
