ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
