Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
