if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
