oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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