just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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