Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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