I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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