38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
