the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
