dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
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