you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
