I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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