We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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